A List of Unlikely Regrets

  • I regret spending so much time outdoors, running, hiking, and camping. It probably would have been best to stay inside and keep to myself as much as possible, like a wise old hermit. Or a crazy cat lady.
  • I wish I had consumed more alcohol to ease awkward social interactions. I could have made and later cancelled so many casual meet-ups with people I’m largely indifferent to.
  • I regret all those hugs. Who knows how many germs I picked up playing lose and easy with loving embraces?
  • I wish I had exercised to the point of exhaustion and injury to impress people I barely know from the gym. Their opinions really determined my self-worth in the long run.
  • I regret saying “Thank you” so frequently, especially to people who were just doing their jobs. Imagine what I could have done with those extra five seconds, accumulated over years.
  • I wish I had been more sarcastic. Nothing says, “I’m a decent, considerate person” like a well timed, snide remark at someone else’s expense.
  • I regret all that time I spent cooking and baking. Putting love and care into the meals I served myself and my family was so lame. P.S. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies are the worst.
  • I wish I had spent more money on stuff, especially nice clothes. Why oh why didn’t I buy those Hunter boots when they were in style in the mid 2010s?
  • I really regret getting that mohawk look when I was 25. That wasn’t awesome at all.

 

What are your unlikely regrets? -xoxo, A

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